Generational divides: critiquing and assigning blame

“Hey, boomers!”

“It’s easy to wave signs saying, ‘I can’t believe I’m

still protesting this [EXPLETIVE]!’

But if you’re looking to hold someone accountable ——”

“Own the world you made.”

“Protest yourselves.”

“Americans born in the decades after World War II

were handed the world on a silver platter.”

“Cheap college.”

“Cheap housing.”

“Abundant opportunity.”

“The vast majority of you ended up wealthier

than your parents.”

“And Lord knows it wasn’t because you were smarter

or worked harder.”

“It was because America was an escalator.”

“You just had to stand on it.”

“You’ve been an electoral powerhouse since the ‘80s.”

“When presented with a choice between

protecting your interests”

“or investing in a better future

for your children ——”

“You usually chose yourselves.”

“Can you believe it?”

“More benefits for boomers.”

“More tax cuts for boomers.”

“And borrowed money to make up the difference.”

“Over the past quarter-century,

you’ve put almost $30 trillion on the national credit card

on behalf of future generations

stuck with the bill ——”

“What’s your problem?”

“What’s your problem?”

“A year at a public university ——”

“Costs almost four times as much as it did in 1970 after

adjusting for inflation.”

“The average house cost more than two times as much.”

“And you made it difficult for younger Americans to live

in the cities with the best jobs.”

“You regularly use your electoral might to squash ——”

“Plans for new construction and protect your

property values.”

“It’s like you think democracy only exists so that

you can band together en masse

to freeze your communities in time.”

“You’re the reason so many Americans sleep

in their cars.”

“You’re the reason that public schools today are more

segregated than they were in 1968.”

“It’s easy to blame the nation’s political leaders.”

“But let’s be clear:

For the last few decades, they’ve mostly been members

of your generation ——”

“Elected with your support ——”

“To protect your interests.”

“From the first boomer president, Bill Clinton ——”

“To the current boomer president, who is hopefully

the last one.”

“The Bush years were peak boomer.

In 2001, when the government’s coffers were overflowing ——”

“You did what you always did.”

“You passed a giant tax cut

dividing the money amongst yourselves.”

“In 2003, you did it again.”

“And in 2006, you were all in for a big increase

in government spending ——”

“On Medicare, just in time for the

first boomer retirees.”

“You decided you’d rather have Walmarts

than factory jobs.”

“And you didn’t ask too many questions about the low,

low price of your super-size flat-screen TV.”

“You enjoyed the short-term benefits of deregulating

the banking industry ——”

“Telecommunications ——”

“And a host of other industries ——”

“Leaving future generations to clean up the mess

of corporate consolidation and junk fees.”

“But hey, making things cheaper for yourself

at everyone else’s expense is kind of your M.O.”

“You tree-hugging hippies championed environmentalism.

But what is your legacy?”

“A world that keeps burning more carbon and a planet that

keeps getting hotter.”

“Instead of actually confronting the problem,

you embrace recycling, a con game that allows people

to pretend they care about the planet without doing anything

even a little difficult ——”

“Like using fewer plastic bottles.”

“You exported your waste to less wealthy nations or you

just dumped it in the ocean.

Thanks to you, there’s an island of trash three times

the size of France swirling off the coast of California.”

“But don’t think we’re entirely ungrateful.”

“We appreciate the progress that you made on civil rights

and gender equality ——”

“Although you don’t always seem to understand that

there’s still a lot of work to do.”

“Thanks for the avocados, some good music

and the World Wide Web.

But maybe instead of writing poster puns,

it’s time to write some apology notes.”